It’s my 49th birthday and I have been eating like a queen. Like, count my lucky stars, cinderella at the ball, sitting at the tables of my dreams.

Two decades ago I didn’t have a passport, hadn’t gotten into wine yet, and was only beginning to realize all of the wonders that the world holds. I watched Anthony Bourdain go on the adventures, chat with the fascinating characters and sit at those tables, and I thought, “One day I want to be him”.

At that time my children were in elementary school, I was about to get divorced, and I realized I would have to live vicariously through Bourdain for quite a few more years before it would be my turn to collect passport stamps and sit at those tables, having those conversations.

Since I wasn’t traveling, I began to find adventures of my own in my home base of the last 20 years in Honolulu, Hawaii. I was the the lady with the photography studio in the neighborhood in Chinatown during it’s “revitalization” stage. When the new restaurants moved into the neighborhood, I became their friend, their customer, their photographer.

I sat in the construction rubble of Du Vin with Dave Stewart and friends during the build of the wine bar that was opening up two doors down from my studio and began to experience my first tastes of great wine. I would pop into Indigo’s wine club gatherings between printing photographs across the street on Tuesday nights and I began to learn about the magic that happens inside of a wine bottle.

And then somehow, a few years later, I had become the chef working with a sommelier to pair the dishes of our five course wine dinners for the people with a seat at the table in my little cafe.

In 2015 I finally got my first stamp in my passport on a surprise birthday trip to Italy. I sat at the table of a wine maker in Tuscany, eating perfectly roast chicken and fennel, and sipping wines that he brought up from the cellar downstairs as his adorable nine year old daughter wrote poetry in my notebook. As I sat at that table, I realized THIS was one of those moments that I knew was out there, waiting for me, in real life.

Mario & Vivienne preparing a perfect roast chicken, 2015

In 2018 I found myself in a classy joint in Barcelona called Boadas Cocktails where I sat in the very stool where Hemingway used to sit and I watched the tuxedo-ed bartender create a drink for me made of ginger and fire- literal flames- and I realized, “this is another one of those moments”.

In 2019 I wandered the markets in the tiny fishing village of Puerto de Angel, south of Oaxaca, Mexico. I ate fried fish on the beach while sipping a cold beer, watching super chill dogs cruise around from tables to the beach. Another moment at another table and the realization that these moments that I had only dreamed of were now happening regularly.

Back in Hawaii, I was working in the trenches of the restaurant kitchen and my private chef/catering company, continuing cooking for wine pairing dinners and working the cold line in a very fun kitchen until the pandemic...

When the quarantine went into effect, I gathered my children in my nest and did the only things I was sure of during that uncertain time. I cooked. And I photographed. And I fed my people. And I wrote. And I gardened. And it was glorious.

The table that I gathered around for those dinners was set under my pomelo tree at my little cottage in Kaimuki. My oldest child turned 21 in the middle of the lockdown so we did one of those drive-by birthdays that everyone was having. My middle daughter flew home from college and stayed for four months. My youngest daughter went on spring break in her senior year of high school and never went back. Graduation ceremonies were cancelled and instead of attending ceremonies, my children became activists and went to marches and rallies about police brutality and racism. The restaurant industry was crippled, the tourism industry stopped, and the world was transforming. Once again, I was very aware that these too, were “those moments”.

Slowly, the world began to get back on it’s feet, with new rules and regulations that were constantly changing, until thankfully, both restaurants and travel opened themselves back up to us all. Those times we all missed the most; gathering around a table full of our loved ones, were finally been realized. There was a bit more gratitude around those tables. A deeper joy and appreciation for being together. We were so happy to be OUT, sitting in a beautiful place where servers were genuinely happy to be working again and the chefs were so grateful that we were back and so inspired to be cooking for a full (even if socially distanced) house again.

So grateful to have been able to travel to my mom’s 80th birthday celebration. Loomis, CA 2021

We started to gather in our own homes again too, different people than we were two years ago, five years ago, twenty years ago. We have lived through things. We have seen hardship and we have seen great beauty. Lines have formed on our faces from worry and laughter. We hold our people a little closer and we are aware of how precious life is. These are those moments.

On this 49th birthday, my 19 and 21 year old daughters will have made me breakfast, pampered me with a spa day and will have cooked me an amazing dinner. We will gather around our own table and I will continue answering their question of 49 things I am grateful for, one of which is the gift of gathering around a table with the people we love, and another is getting back out into the world, new passport stamps, new adventures awaiting.

I hope to see you out there. Until then, may you enjoy your seat at the table, wherever you may be.